i long for your coming disappearing

i looked at you through a wall;

misery, cold flame

upstairs we fuck loudly – your neighbour probably hears
i’ve had enough of confusion; this baptism of blasphemy

so i read temptation in the wilderness

the devil fingers me rotten

heavy; this joint puts me to sleep
outside a bar you wrestle with my untouching

i wish i were on drugs

i only microdose the moon now

you come back at 3, we fuck again loudly
incense steam

you struggle against my wake

i want you 10,000 miles away from me

inside the fibres of my chest
in the colours of my wallpapers
you be my dyes; i will be your lacquer;

oh please

fuck off
fuck off
fuck off


no hard feelings

your mother listened // to me giving you oral once.
she was hurt // she cravshe was hurt // she craved
she was hurt // she cravburnt the line // sandalwood on her tongue
all the cum // eroded my gullet

she was hurt // she cravedthen we broke up // she was happy
and your sister said // she’d always hated me
she was hurt // she crawe lay in bed watching scary movie // i never cry
you missed me in spain // i lied

she was hurt // she crai have been known // to turn oranges inside out
she was hurt // she cravedstick strawberry seeds // to lungs
she was hurt // she cravedshe was hurt i love abroad // you love home
she was hurt // she cravedshe was hurt i love giving // you love taking

she was hurt // she cravedshe was hurt // she cravedshe was hurt // she i hate taking // but
you bent my metal smile backwards // anyway, no hard feelings.