oh god where are you i need you now

oh god, i drank too much wine

 i’m in the belly of the earth
i got pregnant with the ocean

 and i watched god shoot up heroin, watched god die
watched god wake up

i was about to bungee jump off the sun
i was about to rack up in the library again

but then that paragraph of bullshit you never texted me

entered my mind again

oh god i drank too much wine
jehovah, please crush my lungs with your tongue

oh god, teach me the art of suicide
and teach me how to finger myself in seminars without being sent out
oh god send me off the rails

and oh god, don’t text me back
and oh god, take pictures of yourself with the other angels
and make me jealous

i wanted to be lucifer under your fingernails
and i wanted to be an entity in you

 that time couldn’t fix
that tore your flesh up like tissue

i wanted to be lucifer putting you in a headlock

  oh god i drank too much wine
it tasted like my mama’s blood

it tasted like something wrong, man

 god why weren’t you fucking me with your thumbs
why weren’t you glowing up my phone screen every other night

why weren’t you out burning books with me
and pissing outside churches

and wearing the bible on your polo t-shirt

oh god, i drank too much wine,

 had a one night stand with some prophet

  because i couldn’t have you
because i didn’t want you
all i kept asking was where are you

i did that thing
where you cross your legs
and press your palms together
in my kitchen

it’s all so human, this fridge, this plate, this body
i prayed i prayed  i prayed  i prayed  i prayed  i prayed
you heard me    you heard me  you heard me
seen: 05:35am seen: 05:35am seen: 05:35am 

this is blasphemy, god this is blasphemy, god 
i made you, i made you, i made you,  
in my freeze in my freeze in my freeze in my freeze 

so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now? so where are you now?

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