my life without you would be purposeless – a speech

hello 2 am, come to haunt me? i thought you would.
cheap liquor, no boy to kiss.
tell me what does the black in your hollowed out sky
tell you
to dismiss, all the feelings for a man i should miss?
is it thoughts that should haunt me in this way?
i cry at that idea.
tears slip into my tea. god forbid a boy should ever get to know me.

so i drop the mug to the kitchen floor.
and here i go. manifesto at the ready.
promises to make, like any politician, i’m not saying i’ll keep any.

my life without you would be purposeless,
i am promising you my ill heart, it is feverish.
high temperature, blood pressure a little on the low side.
i’ve always been a little low though, haven’t i
and you have got to squeeze and twist me like a washcloth.
dampen your hot head with me
because i, my lover, can cool you down.
because i, my dreamer, can give you visions better than a trip on acid.

so i drop the manifesto to the bandstand floor.
and here i go. box of tissues at the ready.
watching myself fall out of love like an audrey hepburn movie.

i peer through my sunglasses
say it one more time, that yes my life would be purposeless without you.
i don’t drink wine i just swallow it like a dick.
because there’s a kind of violence about alcohol that complements the very taste of men
and their bones.
they think i’d collapse under the influence,
i just hide though.
there’s a confession, 2 am, that i never told you before.

my life without him was purposeless,
but i love the strange weather in his eyes now.
it’s like looking a stranger. it’s like looking at nothing at all.


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