cigarettes are bad for you

N.B. for being young and heartbroken and complex and unforgiving and hating the world

we are sucking the life out of us aren’t we darling?
we are complicated and weird,
hurt by foreign bodies that used to wedge themselves
deep inside our hearts.
how on earth did we ever dislodge them friend?
I say, “cigarettes are bad for you”,
and you light up another, so I laugh at your lungs decomposing
and what fun it must be to be so addicted
to something so bad for you.

then I remember that I was once wearing those shoes.
dragging on the same cigarette.
snorting, injecting, rolling with the sun.
I saw moonlight every time I looked at him.
they wonder what could’ve made me such a heartless wretch,
well, as Romeo says,
I never saw true beauty until this night
but then of course, I lost it like heart’s needle.
and so the story goes I had my lungs turn to ash in his hands.
forget the world, and God too.

there is a strange in your eyes,
and for this I treat you with a dick-sucking,
because how many more of me are there in the world
who won’t feel sorry for you the next time you make a mistake?
how many will visit you when you’re heartbroken?
standing on the bones of your dead relationship.
hearing he’s broken condoms in half on other women,
and you,
eating dry cereal out of the box at 4 am.

cigarettes are bad for you,
but I guess broken hearts will be the death of us,
tell me was it your mother that broke you in this way?
or was it your father who cleaved your soul into two?
I am a bad girl, you are a bad boy.
we are famous for our kind of cold,
but something is stale on my lips, it’s my ever-forgiving soul,
so once you have used me, done with me,
come out here on the balcony, light another cigarette,
and die tomorrow.

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