i am a beautiful disappearing trick

you wanted me to be something quiet.
something soft to mould
and fold under your word.

out from my lamp I rose
where you rub me dry
I cry under your careful watch

no tissue offered
but under a curse you lay me in
I gave you what you wanted.

it was old magic
spun from my careful hands
withered by your empty kiss.

it was wish after wish
spell after spell
written in your name.

I bore you the young of my time.
the patience, the security.
and in that I crossed another bridge.

where the seconds flew by you smiled
dribbling wine from your eternal parch
I grew loud, now.

angry with the sores on my back
for the shackles you sacked me in
from this I couldn’t weep a drop of freedom.

I got out from an honesty
so addictive it might be called love.
so pure it might be cocaine.

you wanted me to sink in deep
into a silence that coiled
and twisted hard in my stomach.

in the guts of you
I grew and became something much bigger
a dissatisfied slave

every drop of magic gone in me
and instead a tough seed waiting to kill you
it bore into the night.

quiet at a time where I can be
I will submit to your dreams lover
but quiet when I am all used up?

ah, that shall never exist.

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