she wants to snog the moon

N.B. for any woman who’s ever been young and heartbroken

it is free falling into a sea that never actually hits you
until the love of your life walks out
and dissolves into the ocean right before your eyes
i have a beautiful relationship with the atlantic
and i long for it to drown me
after late night jazz and carrot cake
and cider on the settee
where in some other universe i have pretended i am not alone
but i am in the arms of daddy and his money
he kisses me with cartier and fur coats
and i’m never alone with dry martinis
he’ll say “baby i’m not like other guys”
and our entire lives are a 20s new york cliché
here i am trying to get into bed with the moon
he is pulling off my underwear
but hasn’t deleted the reams of porn lining his history
here i am wishing the sun was a more faithful friend
but it just so happens that these two orbs
disappear in the end forever
it is like this with every relationship
we date these inconstant hearts and rope them around our necks
hoping to kill ourselves for just one taste of true love
by thinking we’d actually die for these people
but the only constant is the world
the gravity of my mother
the tide’s pull of my father
both submerge me
so i say to any girl heartbroken with late night jazz on spotify
cutting into a slice of carrot cake
pretending to be in some other glamorous era
with a sugar daddy who treats you right
that in reality you desperately want to snog the moon
but you’re out of reach
and anyway it’s not there tonight
and someday it won’t be there at all.

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