Sitting In The Bath 2 Weeks Ago

N.B. I was in a relationship where I had to remind the guy when it was my birthday, I was in a relationship where I folded his clothes like his mother, I was in a relationship where I was his cum bucket, his partial friend, his part-time lover, his glory-giver, the girl on his arm giving him all that sterling reputation. I’ve never wasted myself on any other man before.

We’d been sleeping in the same bed
We went out on Sunday to get me a charm bracelet
For my birthday on the Monday
The following day you went out all morning
And I took the train home
You forgot to get me a birthday card
You sent me love letters a week before the 10th
In February
I received them on the 3rd
I read them and laughed
I pulled out the shovel in my wardrobe
And the bleach in my bathroom,
Left it by the door for a few days
Because I knew there’d be a funeral for us someday
You said at the Superbowl you were mad at me
For not relying on you anymore
And for not wanting to tell you when I had a bad day
You said it put you down
Even though when you were depressed
I picked you up and kissed you
You said you didn’t want to be a counsellor anymore
You said you were you
You said accept me
I said I couldn’t do it anymore and couldn’t rely on you to be there
You would drink when we were meant to talk
I said I needed to go for a walk
I came back
You said we were finished
You said sorry a lot towards the end
You said you’d be okay in a few days on the 11th,
You said my love for you didn’t matter anymore
You said we weren’t getting back together
You said we were finished again
You said you hoped we could be friends
You said you loved me
You left
We’d been sleeping in the same bed
I hugged the skin you shed
You have a new one now
Not fit to shed
Not fit to love
No
You don’t know how to lose with dignity
You can’t win with or without me.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s