Don’t Pretend

(NB. After a while, I get exhausted of heaving my heart into his mouth. And I do it anyway).

don’t pretend honey,
taking your heartstrings and strangling me around the neck with them
I rubbed myself down in the baby oil
and posed on a balcony in a halterneck
don’t pretend you love it,
don’t pretend you love me,

who’s ballin’ up the weed,
I am,
don’t pretend you don’t wanna fuck her,
don’t pretend that the world’s in your hands,
don’t pretend you’re my man,
I swore off reading the Bible at breakfast

I rubbed myself down in the cocoa butter
and you pushed me up against the bathroom door
and took me for a spin on your lips
who kisses skin as copper as this when you can’t touch it
when the beach is miles away
and we don’t pretend that we’re stuck in other parts of the world

don’t pretend with me,
I’m that girl who needs the sunshine to breathe and your freckles
to tattoo me
don’t pretend, just don’t say that I couldn’t hold you down
and glow all over you
its raindrops in the morning and sweat in the evening
we’re covered in each other’s tears

I don’t want to leave you,
I don’t want reason to go from the place
or to pack up my suitcase, I don’t want the smell of us to dissipate
your voice as deep as the ocean
your eyes as thoughtful as the sand
I’ve no reason to be caught in your throat
and instead of choking,

you pretend that you’re bonding to me,
I sit in your throat like a ball of hardened honey,
I smoke the air, I smoke my body,
don’t pretend that what I’m saying isn’t true,
when somebody loves you this hard
and the grey in you soaks me through

when I wrap my legs around your torso
I have the entire world to myself
and I pretend that this is us,
that forever’s starting now,
that I fell in love and sponged the seas dry with words
I say don’t pretend we’re sleeping in the same bed,

but let’s pretend.


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