Boyfriends

Somebody should noose em’.
My ex best-friend can’t handle life without hers,
Tell me girls,
When did you get so attached?
When did you stop caring and throw down the hatches
And despair at your friendships,
All for a little droplet of this, all for a little droplet of sex?

You know something,
Here’s why she can’t shake the wine out of her hair.
Her boyfriend put his kisses there.
And when mistakes were made, she’ll throw shade
And pull out her diary for a show.
“Here’s when you messed up Lyds, and here’s another time,
And here’s another one”.

Too bad I’m too long gone.
Boyfriends.
Oh they damage things, the tie her and him have is so sweet
And yet how can this be so bitter in my teeth,
Can I ever be happy for you,
When he dealt the cards and when I drew
I had nothing to play for?
I fold.

Y’know, your simple-mindedness is getting old.
I’m tired of talking about contemptuous crap. Recent purchases on Amazon,
“OMG WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR PURSE FROM?”
Get real, I want to talk about where’s God come from and have real talk,
I get tired of not being able to have a conversation.
Sometimes I lose direction with you,
Here I was, lying asleep, until my brain went POP!
And I began to feed,
Off the recent damage I’m trying to delete.

I cannot offer Britannia and anal sex,
I cannot buy you in with cocktails and go condom-less,
I cannot take you in my arms and turn you on, toss you,
Like coins and light switches.
I am not an experiment.
I don’t care for anal beads, plugs or scissoring each other.

Is that so hard to believe
When I’ve been jumping from man to man begging him to promise me the world?
You’ve got a boyfriend
And its stinking the place up like your bad breath from his tongue,
You’re sticking my fists together,
And I’m ready to throw one at your jaw.

Tell me girls,
Is he really worth it?
When you can’t be fully free, without Mummy getting you on birth control,
Without Daddy wanting to burn his body at night time,
Without your friends feeling lonely and insecure,
I can’t imagine the sadness you have to go through
When you try to act adult and cool,
On date night.

I’m going to put you down because I can.
You put a pedestal on your man.
Shame him, treat him like shit,
Create an argument and craze him hard till he loses his wits,
And he’ll always apologise and you know he’ll never leave you alone,
But bitch, you still ignore him so you can feel in control.

And yet he dominates your world like a pandemic.
You’re ill.
You can’t find it in your swollen heartbeat to be entrusted with my secrets,
You have to tell him,
It is never understandable,
Just because he is your ‘Boyfriend’,

‘Boyfriend’ or not,
I don’t know him.
You think you can switch these palms and I won’t know who’s done it?
You think that its a happy mistake my Tarot cards tell me you’re a bitch?
It’s half 3 in the morning
And I am so fucking resentful.

That after 16 years its me drowning in the Sambuca just to impress you.
I don’t feel loved anymore,
I don’t think you see yourself and you’re not gorgeous,
I swear.
Your manners, your hair,
Your dress,
It’s all about him.

Whenever you’re in trouble
I drop whatever I’m doing
And here I am to help you.
Too bad when I’m hurting you sit there bubbling with no responses
Like your fat old goldfish.
How hard is it?
To just throw an arm over my shoulder and hold me,

How hard is it just to try?
You mess up, nobody cries.
Everybody still thinks you’re Prissy Perfect with straight As,
I came to tell you today,
That its not about what you know,
Its about WHO you know,

And it looks like humans apparently “exhaust you”
Good luck at uni then.
Tell me girls,
When you did get yourselves so attached,
None of you can get him unlatched
Off your collarbones,
I smell his aftershave on your cheeks,

And its your new scent of the week,
Of the month, of the year,
Its becoming real clear
That when your friends can’t hold your secrets
As though those things were sacred,
To you,
She acts like a fool and tells him before she gets in the mood

To blow his lead pipe.
Who loves you anymore?
Not I.
I can’t get the stench of the “New You”
Out of my nose,
People change, I know,
Doesn’t mean I like it.

And I knew this was coming way before she knew it,
This bitch knows I’m psychic.
I know girls my age,
They twist shit,
Arguments over iMessage,
Put your iPhone down and ring the guy,
Act like you’re not in a virtual relationship,

Oh wait, sorry,
You met over Tinder? Well that’s fucked it.
I spit at you.
Man I try, I tell Ben I’m not gonna cry,
I sure as hell won’t make him number one in my life,
God knows only my Mama could take that spot forever.

But these ‘Boyfriends’…
They change women. Manipulated,
By a person tugging on your heartstrings,
Puppeteering it around Blackpool Pleasure Beach
Buying your heart candy floss and chips on the pier,
Feeling this alive,
Then going home to tell him you saw him throw a stare at the waitress at Frankie’s & Benny’s

Well I for one,
No longer care.
For these “Boyfriends”,
Not when she’s the least trustworthy person in the world I know right now.
Second, actually, only to my uncle.
Since I left school I’m chewing everybody’s flesh, and it tastes good,
Didn’t you know I put the ‘bit’ in ‘bitch’,
And took it to a limit where I’m supposedly “Out of Line” (we’ll get to who said that in Personal Problems, Six)

I can’t live with the air strangling me,
Where trust is only valid if the person forgets you told them something private nowadays,
You are not my destiny,
I am, I drive myself, I’m not in the passenger seat,
Hand me the car keys now!

Shedding tears over a fella,
Feelings are what I write for Liv,
But don’t come for him if he’s telling you you’re not worth it,
Some of us gots to stop expecting more stuff from guys when we’ve already uncrossed our legs.
Its just because sex is worth an hour with you
And I’m not saying for every guy its true,

But when they’re young for the most part its all they ever wanna do.
And you’re manipulated and moulded and shaped
And you don’t control your fate
And you end up like this girl here sobbing because she’s “vulnerable”
Well don’t fall in love then if you want to be strong!

Or just accept it.
You’re weak because you love them.
You’re strong because you love them.
But I don’t have to deal with your changes,
Don’t keep me just to deal with your bleeding,
Maybe that’s why my moods change like these goddamn seasons.

Somebody should noose em’.
Keep my friends from being too much like “typical women”. Like the ones portrayed in black and white movies.
Sobbing uncontrollably. She’s the definition of derision.
I’m a second wave,
So I don’t mind people who criticise mine or any other woman’s personal decisions,
It’s called taking responsibility.
No I’m not outdated.
But if you think I am, well I kinda like it.

4 am.
Bring this one to a close.
Don’t think I’m finished.
But I am about that close <> from walking away
In my white Choos.
Boyfriends, somebody really needs to noose em’,
It’s getting on my wick, she’s making me sick,
And I’m not going to fix any of this damage.

Party’s over, kids.

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