This Finished at 2:50am

Sometimes I grab you by the neck
Squeeze
If you vomit your heart out I’ll know its for sure
They’ve not shaken me up off the floor

Drunk on my ex’s blood
Sometimes I have to revise my mind
This choice I took, handing over the wheel to you
I just got out of the passenger seat

Fistful of diamonds all hard and tough
And taking drags because so far I haven’t given a fuck
I know I’m smart,
I didn’t need a mark, I did an exam cos’ it was expected of me

The stress and the knots and the nightmares peeling the organs inside of me
And then the things caught inbetween,
Chunks of you in my teeth,
The sunset’s burning my wick at both ends,

Before I know it, its too late
And how could I let you and your smile leave me again
I want simple songs to sing into the whiskey bottle whilst you’re gone
There’s only so many times I can say

“You mean <this much> to me” and proceed to run off the horizon
Walk on water and thrash my heart against the sea
Take a cigarette, pretend its me, and burn it down to ashes,
You can so easily as take me down

And I’ll still be proud, you can’t dissolve me in an ashtray
And I’ll be the first to admit I previewed you as a sad and lame introvert
With nobody else to do alone with sad and lame mates
Everybody in our year fancies her, Lil’ B isn’t the most original choice you’ve made

And I’ve stayed up awake counting the times I’ve messed you about
But believe me that the feel of your voice shakes me out raw
And it trickles into my core, it soaks the sadness, it lengthens the day
It leaves me paralysed

You make me stronger
You make me weaker
If I drown I die and if you levitate me I’ll fall down
Either way its a pretty death concealed,

I just wanna know whether its genuine what you feel,
Cos say it wasn’t true I’d have to speak goodbye with my eyes and discard the rest of my face
I’d look out of place
Its one part showing you my colour’s identity

But another when the rest is pure anonymity
Guess I think this shit is clever
So was my ex-lover
I’m glad he makes you mad, what other ammunition do I have

Broken nails in my coffee, chewing your tshirts for your detergent
I’m in a losing game or so I’ve learnt
And I don’t know what else you’re supposed to do for love
You make me look like a right mug,

Buying you Beverly Hills Polo Club shirts thinking we’re a good match
I still wonder what is it about you that got me so attached
This 2:30am poem is a diss about you I’m afraid
I’m still not used to having my feelings displayed on a wordpress wall

This shit’s getting me all boiled up butt’s up shut the fuck up I’m stuck
Tough love but I’m about as hard as a baby’s face
Drunk on ex’s blood but you’re thicker I’m on your brains for soup
Chewing your body so I can retain all that nutrients

This is starting to sound like murder rather than a poem on the L word
But if I were a serial killer you’d be the victim that would get me nicked for good
So find me friend, forage and forray
You know I’m sticking around and here to stay don’t think Cornish waves’ll change me

Go love somebody
Who twists for your sunlight
Or better, take me, Little Miss Chatterbox on her pink pillows
Twisting to find you even at night.

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4 thoughts on “This Finished at 2:50am

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