ALIVE ALIVE ALIVEEEEEEE

when I’m under my sheets

my legs look orange, and feel better
and when I don’t move
and when I don’t breathe
I enjoy the cork in my throat
don’t pop it out.
if every dime of energy was wasted on the current state I’m in,
I’d say I’m gaseous, I could have been ever changing like the shapeshifter in liquid’s fluidity
but now nobody can see me.
it’s colder these nights, sundown is earlier
I sit on ivy beds trying to figure out this life
And how my heart’s surface is smothered in pinheads, currently drilling the tissues with the prick of their needle beds,
and suddenly my stomach twists.
We’re speaking in different tongues, different bodies,
cursive you, passive me,
I can smell last night’s orgasm from a mile away,
And the rough touch of sunlight slapping me awake
The smooth resonating sound of rain lulling me back to sleep.
they’ve punctured holes in my sails,
my lungs are deflated, I let my underwear drop to the floor, I climb over his torso, I forget myself,
I’m allowed to,
it’s a chase away from the demon pulling the strings tighter on my corset.
it’s colder these nights, sundown is earlier
I sit on ivy beds trying to figure out this life
And how my heart’s surface is smothered in pinheads, currently drilling the tissues with the prick of their needle beds,
and suddenly my stomach twists.
lightning smothers me in my bed sheets.
rocks me, whispers, “go back to sleep”.
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